a brush with separation anxiety

it is official i now have a toddler and gone are the days when i can leave him for hours at best in his crib while playing with his toys or watching pocoyo or reading (more of tearing) a book while i do the chores, wash his feeding bottles, do the laundry, or take a bath or eat my meals.  now he wants less of play, of books, of pocoyo and yes, even less of his food and eating. it seems all he wants to do all day is walk/toddle around.

since he's managed to walk (groping at things, yes including mummy, to make his way around the room) he is unstoppable. he is excited to explore the world beyond the realms of his four-cornered crib and who am i to stop him? so our new routine goes: in the morning before he bathes he has to do his morning walk, meaning he will walk around the room, the kitchen when he gets tired of the room, and the rest of the house when he is done with the kitchen. and yes, i'll be prepared to have my hands swiped several times as if telling me "ma, no more hands, as if he thinks he is big enough to do it on his own"

when we went to activefun, the gracious assistant there took jared in her hands leading him to the play area, which my baby happily received and as if totally forgetting that i was there allowed her to lead him away, remove his shoes for him. and i was like almost on the verge of panic. i almost cried "no, give me back my baby, there is no way am letting him play there without me regardless of who assists him!" but sooner than i mastered the courage to launch into that litany, sooner than i figured out what just happened -- yeah i realize belatedly that i was having a severe case of separation anxiety, which prior to this i only thought existed in toddlers and preschoolers -- jared was on the floor playing, exploring and having so much fun, with the assistant in tow (apologies to her, don't take it personal!)

he's grown so fast and am now thinking my happy days will soon be over, soon i can no longer keep him to myself, i can no longer keep him from the world. one day soon he will discover the world outside of his mom's embrace and he will eventually have to go out there. but am not just ready yet...maybe i still have a good five years until i will be ready to let him spread his wings. 

don't grow up just yet my baby, we still have loads of baby/mummy bonding stuffs to do before i let you on your own. i still want to hug you some more, kiss you some more (cause i know kisses will be scarce once you've become a "man") make you wear cute baby costumes and bring you to professional photographer before you learn how to complain and love you some more, and somehow there seems to be not much time to show you that each day. 

another fit of separation anxiety coming through, i only hope vitamin e can keep it at bay!